Your Child Can Have a Biblical, Wholesome Relationship with Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2 of 2)

Your Child Can Have a Biblical, Wholesome Relationship with Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 2 of 2)

Do you have kids or plan to have some? Are you keen on your kids having a Biblical View on Sex, Love, Intimacy and all that good stuff? I have a Show for you. #thewitngchatshow by The Narrow Gateway.

Please click here to WATCH Part 2 of the show on Youtube

Please click here to LISTEN to Part 2 of the show on our Podcast

Here is the List of the Values a Parent Should Embrace to Raise A Child With a Wholesome and Biblical Relationship with Love, Sex and Intimacy:

  1. Be on time. “The talk” is not an event. It starts from when the child is very young and can appreciate the concept of privacy and consent and value, and love, and respect.
  2. Be intentional. Do not do it by the way, or as an after thought. Be purposeful, be targeted. Be intentional about praying for your child, about forging the kind of relationship of trust with your child that allows for these conversations to thrive, about placing around your child a framework of trusted people with Godly values who can bolster your message to your child. Be intentional about where you live, the kind of work you do or whatever else you spend your time on, and whether it allows you to have physical, mental and emotional space to be there for your child.
  3. biblicalsexualityimageRelationship. All this needs to happen in the context of a wholesome, trusting and secure relationship that you have with your child. It is through your relationship with your child that your child gets a sense of identity, worth, value, self-respect, self-confidence. These are all critical values that will shape a child’s thoughts and actions when they are faced with decisions about love, sex, intimacy. Further, through your relationship with your child, build trust. You cannot expect that your child will be comfortable to open up to you and to listen to you share about these concepts if you, as a matter of general life, do not engage in a purposeful relationship of love and intimacy with your child. Relationship is key.
  4. Share God with your child. Yes you need to pass onto your child a strong sense of security, worth, identity, love, value, but if you do not also pass on GOD, then you would have raised a strong and confident kid who has a strong sense of value and self-worth, but who sees no reason to submit to the God who created love and sex. We want our kids to believe and to know that they were created to love and serve God. Otherwise, your strong, confident, self-assured child will not see why he/she should submit to the word of God and what it teaches about love, sex, intimacy and relationship. You cannot force a child to believe in Jesus. But you sure can introduce your child to Him, by the way you live, and by what you teach. The rest is in God’s hands.
  5. Lean on your own story. Be honest and seek to help your child learn from your mistakes. Some of us have colourful pasts. We were not always on the “straight and narrow”. Do not pretend or hide it from your child. Be open and wisely use your testimony and the work God has done and continues to do in your life as a tool to help your kid understand who life can work, but also how merciful God is.
  6. Model the biblical values about sexuality in your own relationships. Another place where parents struggle is that they want to pass on biblical values about sexuality but they themselves are not living true to the biblical values. So let’s say the child is growing up in a home where the parents are always fighting and they do not respect one another,  perhaps there is infidelity, or just plain old lack of love and friendship. So the child has no example of love and intimacy, of passion between two people who are fully licensed (by marriage) to share that passion. Of partnership, equality, respect for one another, and one another’s bodies. They do not know what it is like for a man to honour a woman’s body and for a woman to have the power to say no, without being victimised. Many kids have their first exposure to abuse in their very homes. Some kids have to watch their mothers stay in abusive relationships and continue to be abused and overpowered. When a kid grows up in that kind of environment, how do you convince him or her that this is not normal and this is not what life has in store? Model the values
  7. Model the values in your lifestyle. There are also parents who are teaching their children “biblical values” but if you look at their lifestyle, they themselves clearly are not living those standards if one considers the things they watch on TV or online, the kind of music they watch and listen to, the lifestyle of the celebrities they follow, the kind of parties they throw or attend, the friends they bring into the house, their dating relationships (if for example you are a single parent). The kind of language they use, or approve of. If some of these things are not compatible with the values that you are trying to convince your child he or she should follow, you may be missing it. Passing down biblical values about anything, especially sexuality, has to be modelled. It cannot just be taught. A parent cannot insist on his/her right to live a certain way, but expect his/her child to somehow buy into values that do not really flow from the lifestyle that they see their parents living.
  8. Don’t give up! None of us are perfect and none of us is going to get all these things right. But if we stick our hands in God’s hands and genuinely work with Him, He will carry us through. Even if we mess up, or have already messed up, i believe God is able to steer our kids in the right way. He is able to help them navigate life in this highly sexualised world, and even if they make mistakes, He will journey with them to redeem them, just like He did for you and I. So don’t give up. Be intentional. Make purposeful choices and then just do it, trusting God to be the One who blesses your efforts!

Watch the Part 2 of the show here:

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Did you miss Part 1?

Please click here to WATCH Part 1 of the show on our YouTube Channel.

Please click here to LISTEN to Part 1 of the show on our PODCAST.

biblicalsexualityimageDon’t let culture hold you back. These days we have to go by the culture our kids are growing in and learning from, not the culture we grew up in. Introducing Biblical Sexuality to our children is not “one talk” that you have with your kid one rainy day after you got a horrific video on WhatsApp about “what kids are getting up to lately”! You want your child to embrace love, sex and intimacy in a wholesome, Biblical way? Then embrace intentional parenting. In other words, embrace a lifestyle and an ongoing discourse that breeds wholesomeness in them by what you say to them, what you demonstrate to them, what you expose them to, what you allow them to get involved in and introduce to their world, how they see you live, how they see you love, how you build their trust, how they see you fall and rise again, what they learn from your mistakes…etc etc. Its all part of what you are doing already- intentional parenting. So it doesn’t have to be scary.

Our guest is Hayley Walker, a highly experienced Christian Parenting Coach, and I (Toyin Oladiran) am your host. We discuss the realities of the highly sexualised world we live in and the need to be intentional parents when it comes to Introducing Biblical Sexuality to our Kids.

Hugs!

Toyin Oladiran (Christian Life Coach, Founder of The Narrow Gateway)

Do you want to follow my Facebook Page, The Narrow Gateway, for more content to support your passion to #getthatGodlife? If so, please click here.
Do you want to follow me on Facebook for more content to support your passion to #getthatGodlife? If so, please click here.
Work with Toyin:
Do you want to apply for an early spot in the B.O.O.M Walk Program? If so, please email me on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com
Do you want to work with me One-on-One or with your Group (church fellowship or Bible Study or group of friends) to work through the B.O.O.M Walk Program or to work through and overcome trouble spots in your walk with God or to forge a more intimate and deliberate relationship with God from which you are living in God’s unique purpose and plan for your life? If so, please email me on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com

 

Your Child Can Have a Biblical, Wholesome Relationship with Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1 of 2)

Your Child Can Have a Biblical, Wholesome Relationship with Love, Sex and Intimacy (Part 1 of 2)

Do you have kids or plan to have some? Are you keen on your kids having a Biblical View on Sex, Love, Intimacy and all that good stuff? I have a Show for you. #thewitngchatshow by The Narrow Gateway.

Please click here to WATCH Part 1 of the show on our YouTube Channel.

Please click here to LISTEN to Part 1 of the show on our PODCAST.

biblicalsexualityimageDon’t let culture hold you back. These days we have to go by the culture our kids are growing in and learning from, not the culture we grew up in. Introducing Biblical Sexuality to our children is not “one talk” that you have with your kid one rainy day after you got a horrific video on WhatsApp about “what kids are getting up to lately”! You want your child to embrace love, sex and intimacy in a wholesome, Biblical way? Then embrace intentional parenting. In other words, embrace a lifestyle and an ongoing discourse that breeds wholesomeness in them by what you say to them, what you demonstrate to them, what you expose them to, what you allow them to get involved in and introduce to their world, how they see you live, how they see you love, how you build their trust, how they see you fall and rise again, what they learn from your mistakes…etc etc. Its all part of what you are doing already- intentional parenting. So it doesn’t have to be scary.

Our guest is Hayley Walker, a highly experienced Christian Parenting Coach, and I (Toyin Oladiran) am your host. We discuss the realities of the highly sexualised world we live in and the need to be intentional parents when it comes to Introducing Biblical Sexuality to our Kids.

Watch out for Part 2!

Here’s Part 1:

Hugs!

Toyin Oladiran (Christian Life Coach, Founder of The Narrow Gateway)

Do you want to follow my Facebook Page, The Narrow Gateway, for more content to support your passion to #getthatGodlife? If so, please click here.
Do you want to follow me on Facebook for more content to support your passion to #getthatGodlife? If so, please click here.
Work with Toyin:
Do you want to apply for an early spot in the B.O.O.M Walk Program? If so, please email me on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com
Do you want to work with me One-on-One or with your Group (church fellowship or Bible Study or group of friends) to work through the B.O.O.M Walk Program or to work through and overcome trouble spots in your walk with God or to forge a more intimate and deliberate relationship with God from which you are living in God’s unique purpose and plan for your life? If so, please email me on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com
Do you want me to faciliate a group Bible Study for your church or with your group of friends? If so, please email me on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com

 

What’s the God-View on sticky-tricky tough spots and how can YOU seek, find and #crowdtheplatform to share it?

What’s the God-View on sticky-tricky tough spots and how can YOU seek, find and #crowdtheplatform to share it?

What’s the God-View? This is where we invite YOU, and YOU, and yes, definitely YOU, to #grabthemic, #grabthepen and join us as we #crowdtheplatform with the God-View on life’s many sticky-tricky tough spots!

#grabthemic, #grabthepen and join us as we #crowdtheplatform!
Click here for a guide on putting together your What’s the God-View piece.

We are all surrounded (some are even plagued) by life’s sticky-tricky tough spots; you know, those hard questions, those moral dilemmas, those headliner crises that everyone and the cat next door has a life-or-death opinion about? And when these tough spots hit, all around us, people quickly latch onto popular world-views about what it right and wrong (or neutral), what is fair and sensible in the situation, and before we know it, hashtags are flying all around social media, left, right and centre, and we are being “informed” on what to think, feel and do about it, and oh, what NOT to think, feel and do about it. But something in your heart niggles at you because you think that just maybe, just maybe the One you follow, Jesus Christ, just maybe He sees things differently in the circumstances, and maybe He actually…kind of wants you to “take His side.” Well, this is where we tackle sticky-tricky tough spots head on! Here on What’s the God-View, we, that means YOU AND I, engage with the authentic and complete TRUTH of the Word of God (the Bible) by revelation of His Holy Spirit, and we seek to find out, What’s the God-View on this sticky-tricky tough spot? And when we find it, we share it…we can even go ahead and create our own hashtags about it! And then other’s get to hear the God-View and maybe, just maybe, it stirs them up to join us #upontheplatform and #crowdtheplatform with TRUTH.

But something in your heart niggles at you because you think that just maybe, just maybe God sees things differently in the circumstance, and He kind of wants you to “take His side”
Why should I be asking you, What’s the God-View?

Think of Oprah pointing at you, me and EVERYBODY and saying, “you get to answer, and you get to answer, and you get to answer…!” Yes! But why you? Why not just me, and pastors, and ministers and other people who have chosen an occupation in the so-called “ministry”?

I am asking you,  WE are seeking, finding and entering by the narrow way together. So yes, we all get to engage on the question, What’s the God-View, and then submit pieces to The Narrow Gateway in which you provide answers flowing from your humble, intentional search of the Word of God (the Bible) under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. What’s the God-View or W.I.T.N.G? What is the Narrow Gateway, when you encounter different specificly named faces and phases of life? I cannot wait to hear from you!

Here on What’s the God View, we face those tough spots head on! And we get YOU involved! Here’s how:

I

Write a blogpost, or
Record a vlog (video blog); and send it to me where you tackle a “tough spot” and share what you believe is “the God-view” from a Christian and Biblical standpoint. Why? Because
And we get YOU involved! How? Write a blogpost, record a vlog (video blog) and send it to me where you tackle a “tough spot” and share what you believe is “the God-view” from a Christian and Biblical standpoint. Why? Because
…My boss reeks of prejudice and bigotry. He eyeballs me, and sees a scape goat?

…A devastating divorce is tearing my family apart. I am bleeding shards of pain?

…I’m a skilled artist. I could make you shudder to your very core?

…My 10 year old kid is begging for tickets to see a famous hip-hop artist performing live?

…My son had scarcely gulped in his first few gusts of air at birth before I snuck out of the hospital, with my heart clutched in my hands, never to set eyes on my son again?

…My people eek out a living on $2 a day while my government fattens itself with their blood and toil?

…Another kid, another mall shooting, my town is ravaged, my kind is mourning? What is the narrow gateway?

Do you all get it? That’s what we do here at ‘What’s The God View?’ We explore, and upon discovery, we embrace, the God-view in these and many more of life’s various faces and phases? Here you will find articles and blogposts where I engage you in my own quirky way, and implore you to explore, What Is The Narrow Gateway (W.I.T.N.G), when you encounter life’s varying situations.

You know that prayer that your Mama used to pray for you back in the day?

You know that prayer that your Mama used to pray for you back in the day?

You know that “prayer” that your Mama used to “pray” for you back in the day, you know, way back when you used to get up to a little bit of childish foolishness? She would side-eye you and be like, “Hmm…it’s okay sha. Don’t worry. One day, when you are older and you have your own family, you will understand better.” Well, that’s really a thing, o! One day, when you are older, has come, hasn’t it? God only knows how many aha! moments I’ve had since I started adulting, and I’d be like, Ah! Mummy and daddy told me o! What I want to share with you today is one of them. If you had told me ten years ago that one day, I would write a blog about this, I would have asked you what a blog is. But alas, here we are.

It’s April 2! The birth of a new month. Growing up, this was significant. My parents would summon us early in the morning for family prayers, and my dad would impart to us a word that he had received from God for the family for that month. It was most often just a series of Bible verses with a message from the Lord, thoughtfully prayed through and pieced together. My dad is not a man of many words. My parents would then pray with us and sort of try to keep the theme of that message running during the month. My parents believed so much in the value of searching God’s heart for a word for the family for the ensuing month, that the tradition endured even after my brothers and I left home. Didn’t matter where we were in the country, or in the world for that matter, give or take some adjustments when we got married and started our own families, come 5am-ish on the 1st, ping! There was the text, or email, or the WhatsApp group message. Word for the Amosun family for the month. Now, I was a practicing Christian, well, for most parts anyway, sometimes in the stands, sometimes in the game, but generally, I had walked with God enough to know that this thing my parents did was good. But true appreciation has only really hit in recent years, when I met life, and my paths clicked – I discovered, I needed God’s Word in me to inform my identity; I needed God’s Word in me if I was going to help teach my children, and others who I am responsible for, to cherish God’s Word and define themselves by it.

Wait, is there a Bible passage, or a New Testament commandment, or an end time revelation, that says “Thou shalt have a spiritual tradition at the start of a new month?” Not that I know of. Neither have I found a “thus saith the Lord” to support this. If I said I had, it would be an April Fool’s (plus 1 day) joke. Sorry, I just had to slip that in by force (*grinning goofily*). But…it can never hurt to have a bucket of “things we do once a month as a family”, you know, like identity-markers that bind us together with those we love? And how awesome it would be if that bucket included a whole lot of eternity-driven stuff as well, like sharing a word for the month with your family or circle of loved ones? That would be a splendid, I believe. It’s worth the try, I think. That, or any other Word-based richness that we purposefully embed into our lives so that we stick closer to our Father with undiluted fervour. Not to mention the legacy of treasures that we would be gifting to our children and others who we are responsible for. This is the kind of stuff that echoes in eternity.

Ah! Mummy and daddy told me o! They said that one day, when I met life, I would understand why it was no skin off their backs to wake up at 4am and cry out to the Lord for His Word of life for the family, and to click repeat, month in- and month-out, doing it all over again, even when it was perhaps not appreciated like it should have been. Now I get it. Respect. Check out.

So, do you have any monthly, quarterly or other-timely God-centred family traditions that you would like to share? I’d love to hear about them, and so would other truth-seekers. There are more ways to entrench God’s Word in your family life than the one I just shared. So the more ideas we can share, the merrier. The keys here are really just purposefulness and a genuine desire to have a Word-centred family or circle of loved ones. And if you do not have any such traditions in your family or circle of loved ones, WOLS? What’s Our Lord Sayin’? Do you think this would be beneficial for you as a believer in Christ? Please check out Deuteronomy 11:18-21, Joshua 24:15, John 17:17 and 2 Timothy 3:14-17, as you mull it all over in your heart, and do share your thoughts in a personal email or comment below; let’s do some truth-seekin’ together. Then you could share your findings as well. Or perhaps, you just want to give it a go, maybe start by asking God for something that would work for you or your loved ones. You could just check out what others are doing and try it out, see if it works. I’m sure we will have some other suggestions from other truth-seekers in the comments section. Whatever the case may be, please, don’t just read this and walk on by. There’s never going to be a more convenient time. And time is tick-tocking right on by. Oh and very important, don’t over spiritualise it. It’s not something that God will hold over your head as a life sentence. The Lord gushes over you with love. He wants to be the centre of your life and your family’s life because He loves you and has beyond-this-world desires for you. Literally. So just chill, make a decision or two, to entrench in your life a tradition that centres your family and loved ones around God’s Word, and watch how this will transform your lives. Yes, and do holler back to share what you decided on.

I love you guys and trust me, the Lord does not allow me to not pray for you. It’s actually one of the conditions for this work. And that does not even begin to touch on the fringes of how much He loves you. I pray for you.

Thank you for reading and engaging. I’d love to hear from you! So please do go ahead and put your comments in the section below, or you could send me a private message on thenarrowgateway@gmail.com. And don’t forget to like my page on Facebook (@coachtoyin), follow me on Twitter (@thenarrowgate4), and on Instagram (@coach_toyin). Engage, engage, engage. Listen to the interviews, read the blogs, share and re-share, tweet and retweet (Do be patient with me though, as I build the website. I will let you know when it’s fully up and running).

I look forward to getting to know you better. Keep truth-seeking.

Yours in truth-telling,

Toyin

Toyin is a writer, blogger, vlogger, and all round truth-seeker and truth-teller. She is the founder of The Narrow Gateway, which is a platform for truth-seekers and truth-tellers to explore and engage with various daily realities that ordinary people like you and I encounter, after which we ask ourselves, WOLS? “What’s Our Lord Sayin’?” So that we may know and share the truth and the truth may make us free to walk in the glorious liberty for which Christ set us free, fully expressing the gifts and callings that He has assigned to us, by which souls can be saved.

Toyin is wife to Fiyin, and mama of two testimony toddlers, also fondly known to her as her Sunshinebabies. Toyin and her family live in Lagos, Nigeria. Toyin is a commercial lawyer by profession.