The One About The Photograph I Refused To Look At

Have you guys ever had a time when someone insisted on taking a photo of you but you really didn’t want the photo taken, and then when they took it, you refused to look at the pic because you were sure you looked urghhh in it? Sounds dramatic, but well, rewind to a date night I had with my hubby in early December last year. He took this pic of me (see below) after I was like, “No, don’t take the pic … I look so bleh …” and then when he took the pic, I refused to look at it.

Here’s the pic …

See, I had given birth to our daughter six weeks before that night and, well let’s just say I was feeling rather podgy. I mean how hubby even convinced me to go out on a date with him, I don’t know. If you’ve ever been pregnant and then recently given birth, you’ll know that the last thing that most women feel at that time is ‘datenighty’. Lol. Anywhooos, hubby went ahead and took the pic anyway, and kept trying to get me to look at it.

“Just look at the pic! Its really nice. It’s not what you think!”

But I refused, and hubby eventually gave up on trying to get me to look. Instead he sent the photo to my phone and we left it at that. I promise you, I eventually only looked at the pic maybe three weeks later, while scrolling through my phone. Needless to say, I was shocked. I was like “Ah ah,” (Nigerian accent fully loaded, haha) “Gehl, o o bad o!” (Meaning Girl, you ain’t half bad) Hahaha! Even if I say so myself …

Now aside from me sneaking in compliments for myself (haha!) there’s a transformative lesson here. Insecurity is a terrible thing. It literally muffles your identity and your quality of life. It alters your perception of yourself and of the goodness and glory of God. It blinds you from seeing YOU as YOU. I repeat; insecurity blinds YOU from seeing YOU as YOU, and if you stop seeing you as you, it means you cannot step to God in a tangible relationship of intimacy. It also means you may struggle in hearing from Him about His purpose for your life and/or believing Him when He does reveal this to you.

Paul told Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God has not given His children a spirit of fear, but of love, power and of a sound mind. Insecurity is steeped in fear, a sense of powerlessness and false thoughts. It is not from God💥!!

Is there still any part of your identity that is being stifled by insecurity? Trust me, I know all about that, and I am so grateful because the Lord has had me on a journey for a while now, transforming me out of that false identity into my real identity in Him. So, I pray for you (as I pray for myself) that you will shake off that lie of the devil, and as you put on love, power and a sound mind, which is what God has given you as His child, you will see YOU as YOU, and HIM (God) as HIMSELF!

… in Jesus’ name. Amen😊


Let me end this by giving you one tip to help you deal with insecurity in your life:


No, I don’t mean you should make yourself shrink (lol). I mean you should be your own ‘shrink’; your own psychiatrist, your own counsellor. As a child of God, you have the Word of God which is TRUTH, and what it says about you is the only TRUTH that is TRUE (if I can put it that way). So as your very own personal shrink, speak truth to yourself and then act on what that truth says about you.

1) Write down one area of your life in which you feel insecure right now

2) Find  a correlating Bible verse that tells the truth about who you really are in that area of your life

3) Based on what the Word of God says you are, what can you do practically to show that you choose to be defined by God’s word, not by your feelings of insecurity? 

Here’s an example based on the day that I was feeling podgy and unattractive:

Insecure feeling Bible Verse What can you do now to agree with God’s truth about you?
I look ‘urgghhh’ today Songs of Songs 4:7 You are all fair my love, there is no spot of blemish in you I am beautiful inside and outside, so I choose to make the effort to look my best. I’ll make sure my hair is neat, my dressing is cute and tidy, and my smile shines brightly for the world to see the light of Christ in me. I refuse to be defined by how I feel but rather by what the Word of God says about me

Try it … and keep trying it. God has not given you a spirit of insecurity. You are who He says you are … so then go ahead and ACT LIKE IT. (* winks *)

I am Coach Toyin, fully convicted by my own words and very much still under construction in the hands of the Father.

Coach Toyin

Click here to find out more about Coach Toyin and her Christian Transformational Programs that help you to intentionally begin and make tracks on your journey into being more like Jesus Christ and living ‘the God-life’.